I look into the mirror and what do I see? Is the person staring back smiling at me?
Is my soul happy with where I’m at in life? Or am I still battling with things deep inside?
Am I still focused on the opinions of others? But was I really placed on earth to please another?
Do I have love for the person that I am? Or am I waiting on love to define who I am?
If I crack open my heart what would there be? Would there be lessons or regrets lurking at me?
Am I truly satisfied with the person I’ve become? Or should I continue working on becoming that someone?
Am I living right with others and more importantly me? Cause when I stand before God I’ll be the one answering him.
Imagine having your head bashed in at 10 years old and throwing the memory into your stories untold.
How would you feel if that was you being abused? Now tell me whose afraid of the big bad wolf?
Late night running into the darkness of the night, but still too young to try and put up a fight.
And the street became her home for a little while. Living like an adult when she was just a child.
Now can you imagine the pain in that little girls heart? Hoping that somehow her life could restart.
All she had was prayer while begging God “please!” “take away all of this suffering from me.”
But I’m so proud of her and I hope she knows. She didn’t go down the road that they thought she would go.
Because seeing him hanging was a great horror, but that pained little girl turned into a warrior.
You see I’m practicing self love now. A few months back I was so close to a melt down.
But I finally saw the light. I rose above like a star during the night.
I always want to believe in people. I always find myself looking for the good in people.
They whisper about your success and they broadcast your demise. I weighed my options and I had to cut my ties.
That’s just the way life goes. What doesn’t flow, doesn’t flow.
They whither among us on a daily. They have no shame acting outright shady.
I got stabbed in my arm a few years back. But I swear it hurt more when a friend back stabbed.
And that’s why my circle is small. I was surrounded by people who wanted to see me fall.
They set up these traps and hope you stumble upon it. If anything I swear that I’ve learned from it.
I’m still that girl with a big strong heart, but nothing hurts more than snake friends in the grass.
I know of a place that was once filled with dreams. A natural, born leader who set them all free.
But he has died and so has his hopes. Imprisoned he wasted his time and it shows.
It seems like past leaders have died in vain. I don’t see anyone rising up again.
It breaks my heart that humanity has died. And how many minds have been installed with lies.
What are we leaving for our generations to come? A world that’s broken and run by the gun?
Are we so filled with fear that we’ve glued our mouths shut? Speak up warriors haven’t you had enough?
It seems we are slaves to those in power. The need for change has become louder.
Could it be there’s no proper leader to follow? That we’ve given up on a brighter tomorrow?
The real enemy is not diversity.
But what those in power want us to believe.
He places his hand on my chest and finds my heart. Then, he stares at me almost as if he can see right through to the purple bruises on my heart.
He plants a kiss in the centre of my mouth.
“don’t worry” he whispers
“soon, all of these scars will be gone”
I reach for him, as best as I can, but it seems like I’m always two steps behind him.
He was out of reach and it was as if something just didn’t want us to be together.
But tonight, I’ll finally meet him and I’ll finally tell him how I feel. I’ll tell him about how I think we are made for each other. I’ll tell him about the way his eyes light up my heart.
I almost get excited at the thought.
“but tonight” I say
“tonight he’ll only exist in my dreams”
I let my guard down whole heartedly and this time I’m sure that I found the one I want to spend the rest of life waking up to.
I find my heart hanging outside of my chest, eager to be in the hands of someone who promises to cherish it forever.
He gives me that breathtakingly gorgeous smile, whispers “I love you” and my knees buckle.
I give him my heart and almost begging I say:
“it’s yours, please protect it”
With his eyes fixated on me; he strokes his chin and I’m unable to read his facial expression.
“what?” I finally ask, without trying to sound impolite.
“it’s just…” he pauses, as if trying to find the right words to say.
“you don’t strike me as a woman who likes poetry”
I take a deep breath and reply..
“be careful of judging a book by its cover – you might just miss one hell of a story“
Sometimes, all too often, things I’ve long suppressed find a way of crawling into my heart. The only way I know how to soothe the aching is to write about it.
“you’re too emotional” they say when I splatter my feelings on paper.
My greatest lesson in life was mastering how to be true to myself in a world where everyone was trying to tell me who I am and should be.
And then there are times when fear sneaks into my heart, telling me that I will never find someone to love me.
“good things come to those who wait” I reassure myself
So I’m in no rush to fall in love with the wrong person, because I believe the one who is meant to cross my path will do so, effortlessly.
Until then, I’ll continue spilling my deepest, darkest secrets of love into my poetry.