He swears that we are meant to be,
But my heart finds his words hard to believe.
Could a man like him love a woman like me?
And look into my soul and beneath the surface see,
My mind. My heart. My genuine affection,
I know my heart can’t withstand any more rejection.
I’ve found someone who isn’t shallow minded,
He’s being unfolded and I’m being unblinded.
But could he love a woman like me,
And fall in love with me endlessly?
I swear my feelings are coated with truth,
Even though I’m only in the prime of my youth.
This thing called my mind fills me up with doubts,
My heart battles with my head and I want to shout,
How could a man like you love a woman like me?
Why did it take me this long to see?
I must’ve fallen quicker than I want to believe,
My heart is as wild as the raging seas.
But now everything is clear to me,
A man like you could never love a woman like me.
I thought with you I could touch the sky,
And all you did was fill me with your lies.
I felt as though I finally found someone,
But you were only searching for some quick fun.
I was dumb enough to believe in you,
Now I’m stuck here feeling like the biggest fool.
Your words are as empty as your hollow heart,
I should have seen through you right from the start.
More than anything I wanted us to be real,
I made the wrong call and I let down my shield.
I don’t understand why you’d make me fall,
Then shut me out like I was nothing at all.
I released my heart from its cage,
But you’re another book and I’ll turn your page.
I thought you were the perfect guy,
But you were just another devil in a disguise.
Posted by Sharneez Parker
A dark cloud floated inside of my heart and for weeks I tried to fight it off. A few days ago I wholeheartedly welcomed it with its enticing promise of a carefree outlook on love.
Everything around me became dark as the colours of my world faded. A melancholy feeling overtook my soul and I realized that I sold myself to depression.
It started the day I heard the universe whisper that it wanted my demise and I knew that you weren’t strong enough to withstand its torture. You were the reason I smiled even though I hated smiling.
I drifted into another dimension and I recalled the day you kissed my lips and I tasted the pain that you once bore. My mouth was drenched in blood and glass as I tried to heal your wounds with my love.
When you held my hand I felt the misery you experienced after the woman you loved said she didn’t loved you anymore. The feeling was so intense that it felt like every tooth in my mouth was being ripped without anesthesia.
I tried to escape into our magical place where I was happy and the term us existed, but I was trapped and I was close to suffocating because we no longer breathed the same air.
I was ready to fight the universe and I thought that we could overcome its force, but the universe doesn’t fight fair. I threw myself to the ground as I watched you flee from our battle. Every part of my body was crushed and I was waiting to rot like a corpse.
I used to be miserable without your comforting arms that I once called safety, but I realized that you no longer need me like I need you. I try to fathom the idea of living without you and in that second I realize that
I already have been living without you.
I watched his ways although we didn’t speak.
He had different women every day of the week.
His love lives were splashed across social streams,
Shaming all the women with whom he has been.
He loved different styles and pleasured himself,
He even bribed women with some of his wealth.
He had more women than stars in the sky,
And he was crowned the master of lies.
He broke a lot of virgins and he broke as many hearts,
When it came to women he would move quite fast.
He wasn’t capable of loving anyone nor himself,
He searched for something in everyone else.
I remember him from high school and everyone knew,
That he stuck to women like gum to a shoe.
He had terrible ways and I didn’t understand,
But now I think he was only a broken man.
He sat aside and watched from afar,
While another man walked in and stole my heart.
He told me that he craved my red Mac lips,
But I turned around and gave my long hair a flip.
I knew that I had been cruel to him,
But when I wanted him he never wanted me.
I kissed the mouth of someone else,
I knew he saw and I knew how he felt.
My new lovers arms felt warm around me,
I smiled, because I knew that he was watching.
I wanted him to feel the pain that he once put me through,
By giving his love to someone new.
I looked his way one last time,
With my sparkling eyes that he once called “mine”
I knew that he was dying inside,
While I was falling in love with another guy.
I feel alone. I stay awake at night and I struggle to hold back the lump that sits in my throat. My mind drifts and I stumble upon a place called what if…
I can’t help but wonder whether I made the right decisions this far and I try to listen for an answer from my Higher power. My life could have been so much more beautiful if I had chosen a different path. I wonder whether I’d be happier or whether I’d still be holding onto the one thing that sets fire to my soul and burns my heart.
Sometimes I’m afraid of being myself, because most of the times I’m out of place. I laugh when things aren’t funny and I take people seriously when they’re joking. I tried to be like everyone else, but I was unhappy.
I feel like there’s something wrong with me, because when I speak with passion people leave me. The depth of my words travel far beyond my own understanding.
I’ve learnt how to silently cry and inwardly scream. I’ve felt the way pain invited itself into my life and almost made itself a permanent resident. I’ve also learnt that good and bad times are part of life and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.
All of the experiences made me a stronger woman. I know I don’t fit in well just anywhere, but I also know that it’s going to be okay.