As a woman, a hopeless romantic and a dreamer I fear that I will question my worth again. I fear that I will lose myself and that I will forget who I was before I fell in love. I fear disappointment, pillows drenched in tears, puffy eyes, a heavy heart and sleepless nights; wondering whether I am good enough. I fear that my relationship will be just as traumatizing as the last and I fear that I might not be able to glue my pieces back together once more. I fear that the love I have to give will amount to nothingness and that my heart will end up in ruins. And as much as I desire love; I also fear it.
There will always be someone who is more attractive and who has more to offer. I do believe that social media has made resisting temptation a lot harder and I also believe that it’s made finding love harder too.
But can we really blame social media for our relationships that fail? Have we forgotten that we too have been taught right from wrong? If you took away the physical attributes of the person you desire to be with, what would they have to offer? Would you still want to be with them if they didn’t look the way they do?
I believe it’s important to love yourself. In order to give yourself to somebody; you need to be right from the inside. I think that the problem with this generation is that they haven’t mastered loving themselves and they are not open to learning either. I think that’s why it’s difficult for some people to love and be loved.
It took me a long time to find myself again. It was like counting the grains of sand on the beach. I spent a lot of time putting back pieces that I never broke and with every memory came pain. I wished I could have forgotten the ones who hurt me and without trying to sound cliché, those people made me stronger. I know my worth now and I won’t settle for anything less than what I know I deserve.
As much as I want to be loved; I fear love. Apparently inflicting emotional pain upon your significant other, indecisiveness, cheating and dishonesty is the new love.
And I do not want it.
I do not want to be part of it.
I am worth more than that and so are you.