I feel alone. I stay awake at night and I struggle to hold back the lump that sits in my throat. My mind drifts and I stumble upon a place called what if…
I can’t help but wonder whether I made the right decisions this far and I try to listen for an answer from my Higher power. My life could have been so much more beautiful if I had chosen a different path. I wonder whether I’d be happier or whether I’d still be holding onto the one thing that sets fire to my soul and burns my heart.
Sometimes I’m afraid of being myself, because most of the times I’m out of place. I laugh when things aren’t funny and I take people seriously when they’re joking. I tried to be like everyone else, but I was unhappy.
I feel like there’s something wrong with me, because when I speak with passion people leave me. The depth of my words travel far beyond my own understanding.
I’ve learnt how to silently cry and inwardly scream. I’ve felt the way pain invited itself into my life and almost made itself a permanent resident. I’ve also learnt that good and bad times are part of life and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.
All of the experiences made me a stronger woman. I know I don’t fit in well just anywhere, but I also know that it’s going to be okay.